This is that odd time between Christmas and New Year, when we just sit at home, watch TV and eat copious amounts of chocolate, courtesy of our parents.Tomorrow we may face the phenomenon known as ‘wheather’ and face the Sales crowds at John Lewis to spend some gift vouchers and hopefully buy some pots and pans - don’t you get too excited now!
I must confess I have been exceedingly blessed this Christmas, with not only a wonderful family and a terrific husband but also an excess of great gifts too. Where shall I start? First of all I got some spondoolies and some edibles from my Dad, and then a smashing set of ceramic hair straighteners from my sister (yayyy!), followed swiftly by a ‘minky’ purse and key ring from Miles. I also got a beautiful necklace set, a pair of shoes, the new MaryJo McGraw DVD (coolio), a FAB book by Pam Sussman - Fabric Art Journals, a couple of tops, a lovely snuggly throw for my lap, and… oh too many superb doo-dads to mention. Santa really did out-do himself this year

I’ve been trying to work on a Beauty AB for the last week, on and off and am having real problems with it. Where oh where has my inspiration gone? Don’t know if my problem is the theme or just that my mind is already racing ahead to all the other great art projects I have lined up. Maybe I should just start on something else and see what comes to me about this AB. I want to do something really special in it but am having a real block, maybe something about Timeless Beauty or Renaissance Beauty or perhaps even Vintage Beauty, but thats as far as I get.

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I’ve been wondering why I make the effort to help make things go smoothly; paying for items promptly, including the required information, writng in CAPITAL LETTERS, etc., when people at the other end make no effort whatsoever. Maybe I should just be lazy, beligerant and ignorant too, there would be the same result except I wouldn’t get frustrated at the people at the other end!

Been waiting a week and a half for my new Dremel multitool, can’t believe it! I paid as soon as the auction ended, Bloke reckons it’s in the post, but I could have just gone and picked one up on the high street and it would have been quicker, enabling me to play sooner! Grrrrrrrr! Am tempted to leave him negative feedback but I know he’ll just come back with some ‘circumstances beyond my control’ line. The thing is, I can almost deal with that but his blatant lack of communication is what gets to me the most. Have decided to leave neutral feedback instead.

Ordered something over the phone almost 2 weeks ago, and was advised to send a cheque, which I did the same day. On the back I wrote everything; item description, order code and price, also my address details. As it has taken so long to arrive I called up to chase the order, only to be told they didn’t have my address! They didn’t bother to write it down from the back of the checque BUT she did say she was just about to email me to ask for my address. Funny since I didn’t place the order online, I’m not sure how she could know my email address Aaaarggghhhhh!!!

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Sometimes I look at what I have created and it all feels a bit ‘lacking’ in something. I don’t understand about colours or about form or composition, can never ’see’ how something should look or have any ‘instinct’ about it. I have a box full of things I started and never finished because I don’t know what to ‘do’ with it. Feel a bit like the stuff I create that is any good is for swaps or round robins, and that I am only driven by the fact that I am on a deadline and that other people are going to see it. Miles says I am just experiencing a crisis of confidence, and that he can see my work is good and so can others, from the feedback I get. But I know when my stuff isn’t as good as it could be, which, at the moment, feels like most of the time. I often feel like I’m mimicking rather than creating. Miles says I just need to spend more time concentrating on my own art and developing it rather than chasing my tail all the time, like some kind of tread-mill.
I really wish I had some art ‘buddies’ to share stuff with and bounce ideas off. there’s always Glynis, but it’s not quite the same on the end of the phone.

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Finally finished those silver tip-ins (in my head it sounded like I said it so often that the words sounded like a steam train!) and posted them out yesterday.

OK, for some reason the pictures got cropped when I uploaded them to here, but you get the idea, they’re bauble shaped. They didn’t scan too well, (surprisingly because they aren’t at all 3D), I think if I wasn’t so overwhelmed with relief at finishing them I may have tried scanning them again plus the scanner is playing up a bit and taking ages to scan. We half thought of buying a new scanner but soon realised that a slow scanner doesn’t warrant splashing out on a new one. I think we’ve just got used to everything happening at super-speed that even waiting half a minute for a scan feels like an age. Sad isn’t it? I wonder what on earth it would feel like not to have 8meg broadband, would we survive waiting for a page to load on dial up? or even on ordinary broadband?

Now I have these clay embellishments to be getting on with. I want to use paperclay because it is so light it would be perfect for the cover of an AB, but I don’t know if I want to wait all the time it takes to dry. Of course the solution to that one is to use my sculpey, but PC is just too difficult to be bothered with. Sound like I can’t be bothered to do anything doesn’t it? I need to get over that, perhaps I’m just getting too lazy, never mind wanting everything NOW, it also seems I want it to happen as if by magic!
I’ll get back to you on what I decide to do…..

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Considering I love silver jewellery and quite like the contemporary look of silver on greetings cards etc., I find it a really difficult colour to work it. I worked in an AB a while back and one of the 3 colours stipulated was silver, and I found it nigh impossible to work with. Managed to make something eventually which I found far from satisfactory. Now, my very last tip-in before this tip-in swap is complete and this months’ colour is, you guessed it, silver - aaaarghhhh! I’m tearing my hair out right now, and any inspiration I might have had has long flown out of the window. To make matters worse, this swap has really slowed down recently and people have just stopped uploading their pictures now so no inspiration there either LOL!

On a positive note, I have managed to finish the music board book I have been holding onto for a age, so all is not lost. It was not a particularly difficult spread and needed no artistic skill whatsoever, I just wasn’t feeling inspired and couldn’t decide what to use for a background.

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I feel that periodically I reach a point where I wonder if I should be taking part in as many collaborative projects, joining many more swaps, when perhaps I should just concentrate on developing my own art. Rather than constantly chasing my tail to meet deadlines, maybe I should explore my creativity and play with all the wonderful ‘toys’ and materials that I have, try out the projects in magazines that I have bought rather than just reading them and filing them away. I want to make stuff to decorate my home, give to others, and, who knows, maybe make something good enough to sell, rather than always making art to swap and send away forever.
But then we announce swaps on the Group, some which genuinely excite me and others that I feel I have to sign up for because it looks bad if I don’t. I can’t take part in every swap, but I know there is a little resentment there already because of those I don’t take part in. Then of course there are the swaps run by other groups, that really inspire and excite me, swaps that are a challenge. So, eventually, because I am weak, I am tempted by the thought of creating so much beautiful art with people, and find I am committed to far too many projects! And so it goes on for another 6 month or however long it takes to finish the round. BUT perhaps it is those deadlines, and that pressure to ‘perform’ that provides the adrenaline for me to complete work. I think if envelopes were not constantly ploppingthrough the letterbox, I would just sit around watching TV - my new fascination - how much crap can I watch in one day? I have worked out that it is possible for me to go from TV show to TV show from and hour after Miles leaves home in the morning (I am checking my mail online), until 30 minutes after he gets home at night (Home and Away finishes at 6.30pm).
Now, I have just announced 2 swaps to the Group, a AB round robin, and a ‘With One Stamp’ round robin, I know I’m going to have join in with those. Leandra will be announcing the new round of swaps soon, I’m sure, and AUK are about to start sign-ups for what sounds like a fab round robin, making an Everyday book. Not sure I’ll ever use a book like that but might be fun making one and the calendars that the same group made this year, are really quite lovely. Most peoples’ work is smashing. Ahhhh…. decisions, decisions.

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